The Cat Incident
by WanderingChild500
Summary: Modern AU set in London. On a rainy night on their way home Kili and Tauriel find a homeless cat and decide to take it in. All goes well until the cat meets Thorin. This is in the same universe as my other story The Hair Incident.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello fellow Hobbit fans. This little story sorta just appeared in my head after I finished a previous story The Hair Incident. I saw Battle of the Five Armies last week and needed happiness after you know the Thing happened. So I finally wrote down this happy and fluffy and funny fic. There will be another chapter in the next few days.**

The Cat Incident

It was a dark and stormy night; the streets of London were all but abandoned save for a few brave souls trying to get home in the torrential downpour. Two of these said brave souls ran down the street trying to get back to their flat as soon as humanly possible.

"I told you we should have brought the god damn umbrella." Tauriel said pushing a lock of dark red hair from her face.

"How was I supposed to the know the weather would get so bad?" Kili asked, pulling up his coat collar.

"There's this little thing they invented called a weather app, most phones come with them."

"Come on Tau, where's your sense of adventure?" Tauriel glared at her boyfriend, "Back home in the flat, wrapped in blankets watching Sherlock, exactly where I want to be right now."

"I would like to point out that it was your idea to go see a movie tonight."

True it had been Tauriel's idea to the cinema, she had no idea that it was going to be a downpour when the movie got out.

"Fine let's just hurry up. There's a warm bath with my name on it."

"Is there room for one more in this bath?" Kili asked suggestively.

"Maybe." Tauriel said grinning, then she took off running down the sidewalk leaving Kili to follow. After what seemed like a eternity the pair finally reached their flat. As Kili fumbled with his keys, Tauriel became aware of a sound of banging coming from a near by alleyway. Curious, she walked over to it and looked down it.

"Hello, is someone there?" she called. There was no reply for a moment, then a small blur of orange shot out of the alley colliding with Tauriel's leg. Tauriel looked down at the shivering wet shape of the tiny cat that was currently trying to claw her leg.

"Awww." Tauriel knelt down and picked up the shivering creature before walking back over to Kili, who finally managed to unlock their building's door.

"What is that?" He asked staring at the shivering bundle in his girlfriend's arms.

"It's a cat. I found him in the alley."

"Poor little guy he looks half-drowned." Kili said scratching the tiny animal behind his ear. "Lets get him inside." The pair quickly made their way up to their flat and wrapped the tiny cat in several towels.

"What are we going to do with it?" Kili asked. Once the little guy had dried off enough Tauriel set to looking around the kitchen for something the cat could eat.

"Tomorrow I'll take it to the vet. See if he's got a chip or something." Tauriel said, pulling out a can of tuna from the pantry.

"By the looks of him I highly doubt there's anyone looking for him." Kili said frowning at the cat, which had begun to groom itself. The cat was all skin and bones with fur that was a mix of orange and rusty orange. Half of its tail was missing along with part of its ear, it also appeared to only have one eye. There was also a long scar running across its pointy little face. Tauriel set the can of tuna in front of the cat, who jumped forward and began eating eagerly.

"Poor little guy. This is probably the first proper meal he's had. Maybe we should keep him."

"You sure? I mean a cat is a lot of responsibility?" Tauriel rolled her eyes and looked over at her boyfriend,

"Seriously, this is coming from the man who accidently left his fourteen year old sister-in-law in King's Cross." Tauriel said flatly.

"Hey I went back for Tilda as soon as I realized she wasn't there."

"Ya, you and responsibility don't go well together."

"Which is why I'm saying that it may be a bad idea to keep the cat."

"Oh come on Kili," Tauriel picked up the cat and held it out to her boyfriend. "How can you say no to his face." She said pouting. Meanwhile the cat was staring at Kili with its single bright orange eye. Kili sighed.

"Fine we can keep it." Tauriel ginned at Kili in triumph.

Later that night, after they had made the cat a bed out of an old box and towels Kili and Tauriel lay together in bed listening to the rain patter against the window.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" Kili asked, leaning down to kiss Tauriel's shoulder. She smirked and snuggled closer to Kili.

"I think it's come up before." She said with a smile. Just then a small meow came from the end of the bed. The cat had hopped up onto the bed and curled up into a tiny ball of orange fur.

"By the way what are we going to name the cat?" Tauriel frowned.

"I've got no idea."

In the end Kili and Tauriel could not figure out what to name the cat so, very creatively, they chose to just call him Cat until one of them actually figured out a useable name for the scruffy creature. Cat was a very mellow cat, he would eat and sleep and generally do what cats did. More often than not he would forgo sleeping in his little bed and instead choose to sleep on Kili's face, that was something Kili really didn't enjoy. Tauriel thought it was hilarious though. She had taken a picture of it the first time it had happened and it was now her phone background. All in all Cat was very content with his new home and his new family. That was, until he met Kili's uncle Thorin.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I know I said I would get the second part of this out really fast. But this little thing called college deadline happened and I was stuck in a pile of school work for about three weeks and whenever I had an once of free time, I would usually be sleeping. Being a senior is very exausting. But my last app is in and everything should start to wind down now.**

The first time Thorin met Cat was about four months after Kili and Tauriel had saved the scruffy little creature from the street. It happened after Kili, being his usual reckless and slightly irresponsible self, broke his ankle while trying to jump off a ladder while helping his brother Fili try to take down Christmas lights at his and his wife Sigrid's new house. It just so happened that Tauriel was working and thus unable to go with her boyfriend to the hospital to get it looked at. So the task fell to Thorin and Fili. After waiting for hours for an x-ray confirming what they already knew, Kili was given a boot, crutches, and some very nice pain killers and sent on his merry way. Unfortunately, the pain killers Kili was given made go pretty loopy.

"Everything's upside down." Kili moaned as Thorin and Fili half carried, half dragged him up to his flat.

"I told you not to take those pills till we got back to your place." Fili said.

"Whatever you say, strange talking unicorn."

"What the hell did they give him?" Thorin asked as Kili slumped against the wall.

"Just Percocet." Fili said as he wrestled the key from his brother's hand. "I've never seen him this out of it before." After unlocking the door Fili and Thorin deposited Kili onto the couch.

"I called Tauriel from the hospital. Unfortunately she probably can't get out of work for another hour or so. And it would be a very bad idea to leave him alone when he is this high."

"You know, your mother had this same reaction to Percocet when she had that surgery a couple years ago. Just stay here and watch him I'll go get an icepack for his ankle." With that Thorin walked off to the kitchen, leaving Fili with his stoned little brother.

"By the way watch out for their cat!" Fili called. Thorin suck his head back into the living room.

"Why?"

"He sort of just appears and can scare the shit out of you. But don't worry he's perfectly friendly." Fili replied, thinking back to the first time he had met the ugly little bugger.

"I'll keep an eye out." Thorin said before going back to his task. Thorin entered the kitchen and made his way over to the fridge, just as he was about to open the freezer, a hiss came from above him. Thorin looked up and was greeted with a bright orange eye. Swearing, the man jumped back. Cat was perched on top of the fridge, glaring down at Thorin with his single eye suspiciously.

"Jesus Christ you are ugly." Cat hissed again. Thorin cast a weary look at the cat then moved back to the fridge. "Now if you excuse me, I need to get some ice." Cat narrowed his eye at the man, then launched himself at Thorin with a yowl. Thorin, not expecting the cat to jump at his face had very little time to even think about reacting before the animal had dug his very sharp claws into his face.

"FILI!"

Tauriel practically ran up the stairs to her flat. When Fili had called her from the hospital with the news that Kili had broken his ankle, she tried to get out of work as soon as humanly possible. It wasn't until nearly two hours later but now she was free and almost home, ready to wring her boyfriend's throat. Seriously, who would be reckless enough to think that jumping off a ladder would be a good idea? Kili, obviously. As she burst into the flat all that anger and slight terror that Kili was hurt vanished and was replaced by confusion. Kili lay on the living room couch, snoring softly while Thorin and Fili sat on the floor, both covered in scratches, a box of plasters and a bottle of anti-bacterial spray sat between them.

"What the hell happened?"

"Your bloody cat happened." Thorin hissed grabbing another plaster from the box.

"You serious?"

"Seriously, all of these are from trying to get that thing off Thorin." Fili said holding up his arms.

"Cat's never done anything like this before." Tauriel placed her bag on the floor and went over to help the men tend to their wounds. Thorin definitely had gotten the worst of the attack. His face was covered in scratches, his shirt torn at the shoulder.

"God, Thorin I'm so sorry. I swear he's never done anything like this."

"Well there's a first time for everything." Thorin gritted his teeth as Tauriel sprayed the antibacterial spray onto a rather nasty looking scratch on his neck.

"Once I got Cat off Thorin he went right back to his usual self. I left him in the bedroom." Fili said handing a bandage to Tauriel, who placed it on Thorin's scratch.

"Thanks, I wonder what caused him to go after you like this."

"Maybe because that thing is evil." Thorin growled. Tauriel stood up and dusted off her pants.

"You look like you both could use a beer."

"Yes." Thorin and Fili replied in unison. Tauriel went and retrieved three cold beers from the kitchen. By the time she got back almost all of Thorin's wounds had been treated.

"How long has Kili been asleep?" Tauriel asked handing Fili his beer.

"Since we got back from the hospital. The pain meds they gave him made him pretty high, sorry you got to deal with this."

"I'm use to it." She said flatly. "He's pretty accident prone."

"Well this accident has got him off his foot for six weeks." Thorin said.

"Don't remind me." Came a groggy voice from the couch.

"Welcome back to the living sleepy head." Tauriel said grinning, "have a nice nap?"

Kili shrugged and tried to sit up, wincing as he moved his ankle, Tauriel sighed and gently pushed him back onto the couch.

"Why don't you just stay there for right now."

"That would probably be for the best." Kili groaned. It was then that he finally noticed Fili and Thorin.

"What the hell happened to you two?" After once again explaining the little incident with Thorin and Cat to Kili, Thorin and Fili left the flat. Leaving Tauriel to take care of her injured boyfriend. Tauriel let Cat out of the bedroom and watched him carefully as he stalked over to the couch and gracefully jumped up onto Kili's stomach before curling up into a little ball.

"I still can't believe that this little guy did that to Thorin's face." Kili said, scratching the animal behind his ear. Cat stated purring quietly.

"Neither can I. He does fine with everyone else."

"You know, I was thinking and I think I might have finally come up with a name for our ugly little kitty."

"What?" Tauriel asked as she scooped Cat off of Kili's lap. Cat meowed in slight protest at being moved.

"You remember my uncle telling us about his mortal enemy?"

"Which one?" Thorin had several people he classified as enemies.

"Smaug Drake."

"The one who tried to steal your families company?"

"Yep, that's the one. The guy had that whole reptilian thing going, skinny and creepy."

"What does that have to do with our cat?" The animal in question chose that moment to jump on to Tauriel's shoulder, one of his absolutely favorite perches.

"Well clearly Cat's got that permanent scruffy skinny look going along and his face is kinda messed up, he's also got the exact same hair color as Smaug, then his apparent hatred for my uncle. Why don't we just call him Smaug?"

"I'm not sure your uncle would approve." Tauriel replied.

"Oh come on, it's obviously some form of poetic irony, Thorin would find it hilarious, plus he probably already hates him after today."

"True." Tauriel shrugged as she pulled the cat off her shoulder and placed him on the floor. "Smaug it is then."

Cat, now named Smaug looked up at his owners and for a second they swore that the animal actually grinned at them before running off into the kitchen in search of food.

**So hoped you lovely people enjoyed this. If you did feel free to leave a review.**


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